


Beep Beep, Richie

by whereyoustand



Series: Mute!Richie Tozier [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Bad Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Muteness, Neglect, Other, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, mute!richie, richie is mute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 15:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereyoustand/pseuds/whereyoustand
Summary: Richie would never admit it but there were days where he would need help... Richie had triggers like the rest of them, but he hadn't exactly told them so they found out by accident.(OR: Richie wakes up in the morning with crippling anxiety and a refusal to talk.)





	Beep Beep, Richie

Richie would never admit it but there were days where he would need help. And on his mute days, he would be embarrassed and try not to hang out with his friends to try not to have a breakdown in front of them. Richie had triggers like the rest of them, but he hadn't exactly told them so they found out by accident.

It was a few weeks after the incident and Richie was being his loud-mouthed self and making jokes. It wasn't until Bill let out a "Beep beep, Richie." that Richie felt himself shut up and be swallowed into a hole of anxiety. It wasn't until Stan calmed him down that Richie explained what happened. The losers promised to try not to say the words again, in fear that their friend would spiral into another panic attack or go mute.

Sometimes, not often, the losers would forget. There would be a moment where they'd let out a 'Beep Beep, Richie' and Richie would shut up immediately and remember all the moments of a few summers ago. His head would spin as his friends would rush out apologises. He would tell him it was okay despite the tears brimming his eyes and the intrusive thoughts forcing its way into his brain.

When Richie first used muteness as a coping mechanism, he found himself digging more of a hole of self-hatred. He felt like the clown had actually sewed up his lips and he couldn't speak anymore, he wasn't allowed to speak about anything. He thinks that's why it took him so long to come out. Or tell his teachers that maybe he'd need some extra help. His parents called him selfish for ignoring them the first few times. But, then again, the first few times for them had been about a year after the IT attack. They hadn't realised how much they were losing their son and ignoring the fact he needed help. However, Wentworth would never take Richie to therapy, his wife believed it would ruin their reputation.

Wentworth and Maggie had kept up a pretty good reputation despite the dark secrets that lay under their roof. Smiles and cookies to new neighbours was a frown and five drinks at 11 PM. Laughs and small talks were arguments and threats of divorce at midnight. The successful dentist and the friendly local host was Wentworth and Maggie Tozier, emotionally abusive and neglective to their son Richie who desperately needed help.

Richie was lost in a state of fear but he was intelligent. He knew how to pretend he was okay in front of his friends, even with his muteness. He'd still smoke cigarettes with Bev, or make sexual references to Eddie. But he was quiet now. No noise coming out of his mouth. He was lost in this hole of sadness. Richie would stare at the ceiling and allow sadness to take over. He'd cry and think about how his parents were better off without him. How his friends were better off without him. How _Eddie_ would be better off without him. Richie was good at being quiet whilst crying. He had gotten better at it after having several mental breakdowns in physics class because Maggie had told him he was a failure after getting five fails in a row. He had tried but there were too many equations and he just couldn't focus. None of the losers was in his class (Bill and Stan were in the top class. Eddie, Bev and Ben were in the second top class. Richie was in the bottom class. He wasn't smart.) and he kept getting kicked out for making too many comments because no one was there to tell him to shut up.

Richie was having a terrible day anyway.

He had woken up in the morning and felt as though anxiety had grabbed his throat and told him he wasn't allowed to talk, because if he did, the clown would come to get him and kill his friends. It didn't help that his mom came in threw about ten dollars at him and told him they were leaving to go one business trip. Richie knew he wouldn't survive on ten dollars alone. He already used about a third of his self saved college fund to survive. Richie accepted the fact he wasn't going to college now, he wanted to go when he was younger but now he realised he wasn't smart enough.

Richie had worn long sleeves to subtly tell Eddie he was having a terrible day. He also didn't greet them with a loud sarcastic comment but rather with a wave. They all smiled sadly. Henry Bowers and his gang decided to stop Richie on his way to the first lesson and pushed him up against the lockers.

"Fuh- fuck off Bowers!" Bill grumbled, knowing full well Richie could not stand up for himself.

"Shut up! Richie can speak to himself." Henry growled.

'_No, no I can't._' Richie thought.

"C'mon fuck face!" Patrick exclaimed. "Tell us a joke or are you too much of a pussy?"

Richie stayed silent which earnt him a punch to the stomach making him double over in pain. Richie still didn't let out a noise, much to Bowers' dismay.

"What is with you faggot? Cat got your tongue?" Henry spat and Richie grimaced.

"No," Patrick laughed, "He doesn't like pussy remember?"

The Bowers gang laughed as the bell rang. Henry let Richie go and kicked him in the stomach after he fell to the floor. The losers rushed over and helped Richie up, asking if he was okay. Richie just felt anxiety creep at his chest and ran into the closest toilet to vomit. Eddie quickly followed and rubbed his boyfriend's back as he vomited and cried into the toilet. Richie felt his heart warm and the idea of Eddie facing his fear for him. 'But' he remembered. 'Eddie is just being aa good boyfriend.'

"Hey, Rich. Do you want me to take you home? Or the clubhouse?" Eddie murmured. Richie nodded.

"Come on then." Richie washed his hands as Eddie grabbed his stuff. 

_Go to class_, Richie had written on his small notebook. Eddie shook his head.

"Rich, I'm not leaving you alone," Eddie whispered.

Richie felt tears escape his eyes as he put his right hand against his chest and moved it clockwise.

_Please._

"Richie?" Eddie's eyebrows furrowed. "What's going on? Talk to me."

Richie shook his head, eyes wide with hurt, and snatched his bag before turning around and walking away.

"Shit," Eddie muttered. Bad use of words.

It wasn't until lunch that it truly set in that Richie wasn't coming back to school. Eddie sighed and took out a sandwich and listened to his friends joke back and forth until Ben spoke up. 

"Still no sign of Richie?" He asked. Eddie shot up.

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked.

"He wasn't in Spanish." Bev shrugged. 

"Or- or- or English," Bill added.

"Fuck," Eddie mumbled. "I should go find him." 

"I'm sure he's fine." Bev smiled. "He always skips school."

"Not on Tuesdays and Thursdays." Eddie pointed out. "He never misses those days." 

"Why not?" Ben asked.

Eddie shrugged. "I don't know. He just doesn't." Eddie looked at his friends and eyed Stan carefully, he was being awfully quiet. "Is anyone coming with me?" 

Stan nodded as did the other losers. 

"We should go now. It's a bad day." Stan suggested quietly.

"How do you know?" Bev asked. "I just know," Stan stated. Bev squinted but nodded as the losers left the school.

Richie was sat on the edge of the kissing bridge overlooking the river and trees. He closed his eyes and allowed the dark thoughts to talk over his brain. The river looked so appealing and there he thought about jumping off. Richie sighed and looked down. He wanted that fucking clown to come back and just take him out. He wanted to disappear. Despite his one fear being forgotten about (and outed), he realised it was probably what he deserved. 

Maybe, he thought, Eddie would be better off without me. Stan would be too.

"Richie?" Eddie's voice interrupted his inner turmoil. Richie didn't dare turn around. He might have a breakdown right there if he did.

"Richie." He heard Stan. "I know what you're thinking. But don't even think about it. You and I against the world, remember? You promised that night. You don't have to talk. Just come down and we'll go to the arcade or the clubhouse."

Richie felt overwhelmed as Stan spoke calmly.

"Richie. We're all worried. And we know you won't talk to us now but we'll be there with open arms when you are worried." Stan continued slowly walking towards his best friend. Richie gulped and looked down at the river.

Eddie stared sadly at the best friends.

"Richie," Eddie whispered. "You complete me. I don't think I can live without you."

Richie whimpered and turned to look behind him only to see all of the losers there.

"We care, Rich," Mike spoke up. 

The losers stood in silence as they waited for Richie's response. He fell to the bridge's floor and sobbed as his friends engulfed him in a hug. They all silently cried as they thought about Richie. They were incomplete without him. Whether he knew it or not.

When they all pulled away, Richie put his hand flat near his chin and then moved it forward and down.

_Thank you_.

Eddie giggled. "Anytime."

"Duh-d-do you want t-t-to come ruh-or-around my house?" Bill suddenly asked. "Pizza night."

Bev laughed and wiped her tears before nodding profusely. 

Richie was grateful for through the losers even though he didn't believe he was good enough for them. But they would try there hardest to make him feel better. They always did.

**Author's Note:**

> I researched ASL for this lol so please correct me if I'm wrong :).  
I'm also lowkey projecting aha  
I hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment they always make my day :)))))


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